How many times do I have to tell Rogers that I do not want a ‘Home Phone.’ Despite how much I might save on one, I don’t want it. It’s like asking if I want a pager, or a car phone. Or a mullet.
The following takes place in the year 2020-something:
“When I was your age, we used to have these things called home phones”
“Home phones? What are you saying? It sounds like something out of that new E.T movie.”
“First of all, E.T is actually a remake of a 1982 movie and you’re thinking ‘phone home’ not ‘home phone.”
“Oh. Well what’s a home-phone then?”
“It’s a phone that called your house.”
“Wait, so like, it’s a normal phone [read cell phone], except you can’t take it anywhere?”
“Haha, I suppose.”
“Then how many phones did you have?”
“Usually there was just one phone at your house, and one phone at the office. And if you weren’t at either location, you were simply out of reach for the time being.”
“Did you say one phone? Like, you had to share?”
Think about it Rogers. They’re on their way out. I don’t want to buy one this month, or next month, or next year, just like I didn’t want one last month, or last year.
alex is having a successful BS day