I’d like to start out by admitting I’m not the best driver on the planet. Maybe even not a great driver. But I can drive. No accidents, no demerits, only one speeding ticket (39 in a school zone, damn bylaw officers), but still, statistically, better than most 20 year old guys can say.

One more thing I’ll point out before I get on with my story: driving test testers are terrible people. The low of the low. Every single one is boring, annoying, anal, not that smart, just generally a person you wouldn’t want to be around normally…it doesn’t surprise me tho. They are losers that, by no coincidence whatsoever, ended up in a dead end loser job. I’m sorry if you or anybody you know are driving test testers, but I stand by my word. My own mother could be one and I’d still feel the same way about them. No offense to my mother or anything, but you get my point.
Now for my story.
I took an advanced drivers test today. My fourth attempt. I told you, I’m not the best driver in the world. It doesn’t help that after you fail twice (for retarded reasons I might add), you start feeling slightly anxious taking these things and are overly cautious as a result. This is reason enough to fail you too apparently. Also, in my defense, I told you I hate drivers test testers. With good reason. Let me explain.
We pull up and park after I take the test, and turn of the car. Up to this point, my tester didn’t seem so bad, actually a decently nice person, (of course if you look past the “boring, annoying, anal, and not that smart” default traits I told you about earlier). After we park tho, she is a different person. “Yeah your test didnt go so well…”
Apparently, (get this) schools don’t start in this city until tomorrow (Aug 27th). So school zones aren’t in effect. What school? Where? How the hell am I supposed to know about this??
“I asked you before you started the test if you had any questions…..” Oh right. I forgot to ask about that exact piece of seemingly irrelevant information. My bad. So I got all these marks off because I was doing 30 in a school zone. Re-diculous.
Another thing that pisses me off about these things is that each instructor dings you for different things. I’d be fine if they told me I’m bad at this, that and another thing. Because then I fix them, go back, and the new tester tells me I’m bad at a new this, that and another thing. If I hadn’t crumpled up and threw out all my previous exams, I’d post them to prove to you they are completely inconsistent. I admit I’m not the best driver, but nobody could possibly fluctuate this bad.
The core of my argument, at long last, is this: What is the point of all this. Seriously. And I’m not just saying this. Think about it. How much of a better driver am I going to be next week when I take the test again, and pass? Or how different will I be a month after I take the test. People don’t change. For the most part, you don’t feel unsafe driving with me, even if I slightly don’t pull out into an intersection far enough when turning left. Or I (apparently unnecessarily) wait that extra second at a yield sign when that semi going a little to fast is approaching. But all these little things add up. and make you not worthy to pass the test. I’m still going to go off driving home after they deem me unworthy to drive. I’m still going to be out there on the road, apparently ‘unsafe,’ and yet I am still the one without an accident. Without demerits. With only one bylaw officer speeding ticket. So I return to my question. What is the point of all this?
The only logical explanation I came up with for all this is money. At 130 dollars a pop, why not fail students 3, 4, 5 times. Especially if they take the test in their moms BMW 2008 X6 (which, by the way I only used because they are damn picky if I drive a car I’m used to, which is a standard). He could afford another test, so lets just not tell him that school zones aren’t in effect until tomorrow. Well guess what. I didn’t buy the X6, did I. And I’m still paying for this test. I’m just a student making payments on stuff like rent and tuition. I’ve spent 1/6th a semester worth of tuition on these driving tests, and I haven’t learnt shit. I just want to know where all this money is going? Sure, a good part of it is going to go to the losers salary that failed you (don’t get me started), but really, where is the rest going?
One day, the government sees they need money. Lets make people take not one, but two drivers tests. Thousands of people paying for these 130 dollar tests that are next to impossible to pass would help the finances, wouldn’t it. Ok, now lets hire hundreds of the worst, low life, anal people we can find to test these people. That will dampen the success rate. Oh, look, all this money is magically appearing. Our plan worked. This David Fyfe kid is paying a nice 500 dollars he will never see again, 500 dollars he won’t be using on tuition this year. 500 dollars we have now giving absolutely nothing in return.
K, I’m done my rant. My venting through the keyboard. You see what I’m getting at tho right?
oh well.
Album of the Week tomorrow! Thanks for reading

3 responses »

  1. Rob says:

    Lol yeah it's definitely a money grab.

  2. Shanna says:

    That is freaking ridiculous. Are you doing it in Cochrane? Because when i went out there for my license I had the most miserable women in the world. My suggestion go to Calgary.You should also see if you can go argue your fail if all they did it for was the school zone. Kids still play around there and teachers are working there now. That is beyond dumb. -Shanna

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